Pre-Session: Of Curses and Consent

Before swords were drawn or spells cast, the party known as the "Slut Squad" launched into a deeply philosophical debate: Can shared bodies consent to sex if only one personality initiates it? The focus was Kirk/Kurt and their cursed duality, where experiences may or may not cross memory lines. After much deliberation (and no small amount of teasing), the group decided the best solution was to help Kirk lose his virginity.

Aftermath of the Monster Wedding

Still recovering from recent very personal developments:

• Linnolaithe now has a fairy companion and unknowingly fathered hag triplets.

• Cantus may be dating a vampire (or several).

• Vasuki is organizing a brothel empire with the help of a Naga lover.

• Kaluulah is actively planning a monster-based culinary career.

Everyone, it seems, got lucky at the wedding. Everyone except Kirk.

Operation: Kirk's First Time

With their next escort mission looming, the party pledged to help Kirk get some "romantic closure" before things got any weirder. Kirk even offered to foot the bill for everyone’s first encounter in Nautara, turning the trip into an unofficial competition.

Brothel Field Trip (Nautara Edition)

Upon arrival in Nautara, the Slut Squad split:

• Kirk visited an upscale brothel, where he began a sweet, intellectual evening with Tashara of the Woven Moon... until mid-encounter, he transformed into Kurt, confusing everyone and ending the session abruptly.

• Cantus experienced a lucid dream tryst with a shapeshifting jungle guardian via magical "Dreaming Hourglass."

• Vasuki seduced a half-jinn lady before breakfast.

• Kaluulah got delightfully thrown around by an orc names Winks Morin, then bought a walking cauldron and purifying spoon to further her culinary ambitions.

The Scoreboard: Weirdness + Danger = Victory

The next morning, over breakfast, the party created a scoring rubric for their escapades. Categories included magical interference, exotic species, and personal danger.

• Cantus won the first round with his dream-based shapeshifter.

• Kirk got negative points for confusing a courtesan.

Their debrief was interrupted by a jealous undine named John Everycuck, angry about Vasuki's romantic victories. He was swiftly beaten unconscious, robbed, and left in the dust. Guards were bribed. No one cared.

Escort Mission: Nyssa Marlowe

The original quest resumed as Vasuki retrieved Nyssa, a young woman bound for Serafina's brothel in Altoria. He gave her coin, reassurance, and gentle advice: enjoy her last night of freedom.

Road Trip & Dungeon Surprise

En route back to Altoria, the party found a pop-up dungeon: a short, round tower that had surfaced overnight.

• Nyssa was left outside with the walking cauldron.

• Inside, they found a statue of Velaris (keeper of arcane shadows) hiding occult scrolls.

• Kirk was then attacked by a living painting and promptly blinded with paint.

Marked by Blood, Guided by Fang

Vasuki explained his magical fang necklace, which allows him to track places he’s marked with blood. He used it to ensure they wouldn’t get lost in a shifting dungeon.

Slimes in the Lab

In a destroyed laboratory:

• The party battled slimes and amoebas.

• Cantus cast Runic Body on Kirk.

• Kaluulah used Needle Darts to great effect.

• Vasuki mauled things with his bite attack.

Final Showdown: Dungeon Heart

They entered a final chamber, pulsating with unstable energy and surrounded by sin spawn creatures.

• Kaluulah critted a sin spawn to death.

• Cantus played inspiring music and offered magical healing.

• Kirk, confused by the dungeon heart, attacked allies until Vasuki smacked sense into him.

• Kirk then crit-killed the heart with a brutal slashing strike.

• The explosion nearly killed him. Kaluulah healed him just in time.

The dungeon collapsed. The party escaped with the dungeon core and new trauma.

Return to Altoria

Bloodied but victorious, the squad made it back to the capital.

• Kaluulah patched up Kirk and Vasuki.

• They read the latest broadsheet, learning of disappearances, a missing noble named Caerim, and a mysterious man emerging from the Endless Abyss.

Mission complete. Trauma acquired. Romance scoreboards... to be continued.